a laser-like focus - part 1

Over the last few days I have been feeling quite unfocused and introspective: dreaming my way through the days, completely oblivious to what's going on around me. I'm feeling removed from my own existence, lost in my own thoughts, and it's quite a refreshing change from being weighed down with worry. It's very nearly holiday time and it feels as though my subconscious is fully aware of that, and has already made plans.

A Sort Of Dream by Carl Christensen

I'm hoping that with this time off (6 weeks, yay!) will come some motivation to get.some.stuff.done. I know I say the same thing every time I have a break from work - I make empty promises to myself that never actually come to anything - but this time is different. This time I am determined to make some changes. I've put it off for too long already, and instead of absent-mindedly plodding along like usual, I need to make my actions count and put that time to the best possible use.

Last night, in an especially reflective mood, I made myself a cup of decaf tea and sat with Yoyo on the floor of my studio pondering what I
want
need to achieve.

There's a lot on that particular list.

First things first: before I can get round to doing anything, my studio needs to be dealt with. It's a great space - expansive and bright - but full to the brim with stuff. Stuff that is very distracting. In order for it to fulfil it's potential, and to justify the fact that I actually have a studio, it needs to be a haven of utter calm where I can feel content, relaxed, happy and inspired. I get so envious of the beautiful studios I see on the internet, without appreciating just how lucky I am to have my own little retreat. It may never look the same as the perfect pictures I've seen, I understand that, but it needs to give me the same feeling of joy when I walk in there as I get when I see dream spaces like this:

all found via emeeme's pinterest board here

To make it easier, I gave myself a whole evening of modern-technology-shunning: with no internet, no picture-editing software, no online games and no mobile phone, I would have no distractions and no excuses.

It turns out all I needed was a bit of focus, some catchy tunes (on cassette since my computer was out of bounds) and some willpower. It's amazing what you can achieve in a short space of time when you have nothing to tempt and mislead you: in just a couple of hours my studio evolved from a disorganised and semi-chaotic state to a semi-organised but heading-towards harmonious state. I moved furniture around time after time to get the positions just right, cleared spaces that hadn't been clear since I'd first moved in, organised a whole pile of boxes labelled 'misc' and set up my beautiful new desk in a perfect light-flooded position parallel to the window.

In previous studios, like my old painting studio at uni, I used to force myself into the tightest corner, keeping everything very close to me and never spreading myself out too far. Having everything close-at-hand meant that I was able to stay holed up in my little coccoon for most of the day, rarely leaving the cozy corner I occupied. I was offered more space, I just didn't want it.

Now I have this lovely open space and I'm still clinging on to that comforting feeling of having everything within easy reach, when really it makes far more sense to have things further away from my desk, making it necessary for me to stand up and walk about every now and then, something I rarely do at the moment. Sometimes I don't believe that this space is all mine and I forget that I can do what I like with it. Sure, I can hole myself up in a corner if I really want to, or I could spread my wings and do whatever I want in here - the possibilities are endless, and I'm feeling positively liberated with that realisation.

It's amazing how much clearer, both physically and emotionally, things get when you're focused.