beat it, creep!

Check out this most excellent Wanda patch that I've ordered from witchhboy...

It'll look so ace on my derby bag or I might sew it onto a shirt, I've not decided yet.

I kinda wish I'd got one of every colour so I could make a Wanda patchwork...

You can get your own right here.

You know you want to! And if you don't want to then shame on you.

a Grease-themed bout this weekend + a few more skate necklaces

After the first batch of skate portrait necklaces, it was kinda inevitable that some of the other Belles would want them too ;) so here's my second batch...

I don't know if it's obvious in the pics but I made slightly more effort to get the wheels right on these skates - like the detail of the girl in the pink Suregrip wheels and the wording in the Mayhem wheels (second from left).

I've officially joined our Belles Merchandise team now and I've got lots of plans for various Belles goodies to make, but I'm very busy making plans for this weekend - a couple of the girls I started Fresh Meat with back in January are already playing their first game for the Belles!

We have a double-header on Saturday - a mixed scrim (featuring some of our wonderful InterBelles) before the main game against the London Rockin' Rollers Rising Stars (LRR's B team). They're about 90 places higher in the national league than our little team, so whatever happens it's bound to be a darn good show! Plus it's Grease-themed so how can it be anything less than electrifying?*

I'm NSO-ing so I can't show any team allegiance during the bout, gah!

Come along and cheer on the Belles on my behalf if you're around!

For more info see the Facebook event here.

*I'm so sorry, I just had to.

all the fun of the Zombie Rockin' fair

I thought perhaps I should share some pics from Zombie Rockin' - these photos are all from Joe Pop who makes wonderful kitsch cards - go check him out!

Clockwise from top: the fab Naughty Monsters stall featuring monster and zombie plushes by my awesome friend Emma, my gorgeous friends Kate of Kate's Fascinators and Alice of Stitch Your Soul, various zombie-inspired costumes, and finally it's me in my derby gear all calavera-ed up.

It was a day of immense fun, hence the lack of photos - we were all too busy chatting/selling/making friends with random members of London Rockin' Rollers who turned up *swoon*

I didn't get any pics from the day of Miss Fran of Monsieur Monsteur, Nicola of More Brains, Vicar or Fabrice of Kaiser Calavera, but they were all there too...

Woooohoooo, a fun day indeed!

derby update and our next bout

My not-even-begun-yet derby career has hit another bump in the road. After weeks and weeks of back pain, doc wants me to go for an MRI scan to see what on earth is going on with it and why it's not stopped hurting for the last couple of months.

I'm only very slightly worried about it... I mean, it's not like I get panic attacks in stressful situations or freak out at the idea of being trapped... oh, right, yeah, I guess that is kind of true. But I'm sure it'll be fine. And my back will be fine and everything will all be OK *deep breaths*

Nevertheless, that sure as hell doesn't mean that I'm not going to be involved in derby while I'm in limbo - hells no! I won't be NSOing at the next bout *sad face* but I am going to be working the merchandise stand - woo! Come and buy pretty things!

Our next game of the season is on Saturday 15th June, and it's against the awesome Mean Valley Roller Girls - it looks set to be a great game, so why not come along and perhaps I'll lend you my pom poms and homemade Hell's Belles flags... as long as you promise to wave them around like a maniac!

skate portrait necklaces

Now that Fresh Meat has finished, some of us have gone onto Intermediate training... we're no longer Baby Belles, we're now Inter Belles!

I wanted to make something for the girlies who have moved up to Intermediate with me, and after much thought I asked them to email me a pic of one of their skates. It took a couple of weeks, and a lot of being asked why I wanted them (to which I naturally responded that it was a very important secret project) but I finally got 11 skates sent to me.

From the photos I received, I made little charms of each of the FM girls' own skate - like little skate portraits, and added tiny charms saying 'FM 2013'. I'm such a sentimental doofus.

I still have a few more to get made/photographed, but now the rest of the team are asking for them too! Guess I'm going to be pretty busy drawing skates for a while yet...

Fresh Meat graduation

After weeks of almost constant falling over, being bashed about by some lovely ladies and many injuries and bruises, I’ve finally finished my Fresh Meat course – hooray!

We had a little awards ceremony after our final session – and look which award I was given:

Hahahaha, I guess they picked up on my stubbornness in those few short weeks of training!

And now it’s onto Intermediate training – eek!

I think I deserve a little pressie for completing my first batch of training, right...

hooray for my first pair of derby shorts!

I have my roller derby rules test today :/

I have my roller derby written rules test in 3 hours time... I've been reading up like a fiend, and tried a little online test to check how I'm doing...

90% correct is pretty ace!

I need at least 80% in the real test to pass - cross your fingers for me!

bows? check. flags? check. pompoms? check... it must be bout day!

oh yeah, baby, it's my team's first game of the season today!

It's snowing and bitter and horrid, but when has that ever stopped us?

my first (almost) derby injury

After supremely falling (I'm told it was very impressive, though unfortunately no-one caught it on camera and I can't actually remember it) and subsequently, agonisingly, having dragged myself off to the side of the track, I was looked after by Donna and Kato who held much-needed icepacks on my back as I half sat/half lay in a very unfortunate position with tears of shock streaming down my face, and skaters whizzing past with effortless elegance and balance (grrrr!).

In the time I was off the track I tried to work out what had caused me to fall, but I still honestly don't know - I was skating along all fine and dandy, then before I had time to acknowledge it, my left leg just fell from under me and sent me f-l-y-i-n-g backwards with a spectacular crash landing.

The fact that my training skates are not "proper" derby skates might have had something to do with it, the wheels on those things are flippin' slippy. I mean, they're fine for larking about type skating, but not for the endurance type skating I have to put them through every week, and certainly not for manoeuvres.

I'm not saying that I fell because my skates are rubbish (it doesn't help that I'm still a bit rubbish), but having super slippery wheels certainly couldn't have helped. I've learned my lesson for sure though: once I'm up and about I'll definitely be getting some replacement skates with better wheels. I'm not risking falling like that again, it's been 3 and a half days and I'm still unable to walk about properly, sit comfortably, lie on my back or bend my knees. I'm just lucky I didn't do anything more serious.

The only good thing about being in an injured grump is that Jms has been bringing me home unexpected treats after work:

owwwwwwwwwww!

I don't think I knew what pain was before today when I bruised my coccyx during Fresh Meat.

I'm in agony, but these pretty kitties are helping to soothe the pain:

♥

Fresh Meat : Day 1

Having had bronchitis for a couple of weeks - and therefore not being able to go and play in all the snow we had last week - can you imagine my excitement at waking up to a mini blizzard on the one day I had given myself permission to leave the house: my first Fresh Meat session!

WalthamSNOW looked amazingly pretty as I prepared to head out on the trek up to Hertfordshire for training. There were some concerns early on in the morning that the leisure centre where practice was would be closed, since they were experiencing much more snow than we had down here, but it was finally decided to go ahead as planned, wooooo!

♥ bottom photo by Jekyll N Slyde of Hell's Belles RollerGirls ♥

Our train took us up through North London and into Hertfordshire in super speedy time, but as we alighted I had slight concerns... there was A LOT more snow here than at home, and the venue was still a 30 minute walk away. A minor blizzard whipped against us as we trudged through the snow to our destination, and by the time we got there we were soaked through *note to self - always bring spare socks in future!

The trek was worth it though, I warmed up in no time and after a quick introduction and warm-up game it was time to skate-up and get rolling. Knee stops were first on the agenda, which was fine with me - I'd been practising them at home (as best as you can on carpet), so I knew the gist. They were probably the most successful part of the day for me, in slightly dejected honesty.

We attempted plough stops, but my god I just couldn't get them. I could do the initial motion, but the strength just wasn't there so I couldn't get the hang of actually stopping myself. I kept hearing, "get lower! No, even lower!" being directed at me from some of the skaters, but I just felt like I was totally losing my balance and that made me stiffen up like a crazy nervous fool. On one attempt I practically did the splits on my skates. That hurt. I apologised for being a doofus to Kato, the skater who was helping instruct me, and was subsequently told off by the coach for saying sorry: "unless you've been a complete jerk, there is no such thing as sorry in derby" I was told. Noted.

To end the session we played a couple of relay races - incorporating our new skating skills (*ahem* not) and our stops. Instead of shying away like I always used to do during school sports sessions, I threw myself into it. I certainly wasn't the fastest and I wasn't at all confident in the motion bits of it, especially with everyone watching, but my stops were good and controlled. Now I just need to get better at the whole propulsion part, preferably before next weekend.

Walking back through the snow nearly destroyed me. I hadn't needed to take my inhaler all day, but that walk back to the station through the now much deeper snow and bitter cold wind, after hours of skating, was enough to turn me into a full blown spluttering/semi-breathing mess. Our train was running 20 mins late, which at least gave me a bit of a chance to breathe deeply, rest my weary legs and eat some much-deserved chocolate.

Highlights of the Day:

*the skaters were all lovely, super helpful and mega encouraging, even when I was rubbish
*the rest of the Fresh Meat were lovely too, and really supportive of each other
*I made sure to speak to everybody, which for a shy bear like me was quite an achievement
*the venue, apart from being sooooo far away, is nice and big and cosy
*it may have been exhausting, but I was super full of adrenaline and gusto by the end of it
*I'm not nervous for the rest of the course now that I've got over the first hurdle - in fact I can't wait for the next session!

Woo, derby!

here's how my January has been so far...

OK OK, so I'm a couple of weeks late in saying this, but:

♥ image ♥

We saw in the New Year in a sensible grown-up fashion: over to a friends' house for dinner, board games, champagne and sporadic telly-watching. As the time approached, we changed the channel from the 2012 Hits Countdown to Jools Hollands' Annual Hootenanny just in time for the proper countdown, upon which Party Poppers popped, paper streamers strum (is that the past tense of stream?) and champagne flutes clinked as we welcomed in 2013.

Fearing for our sanity (Hootenanny is so very odd, and very very grown up), as soon as the countdown had peaked (or should that be nadired?) the telly was turned back to the 2012 Hits Countdown and we resumed our wild dancing with the exuberant joy that one only ever feels at New Years.

Finally, exhausted from our awesome displays of dance moves (some of which, I fear, may have been caught on camera), we settled into a few rounds of Fluxx before heading to bed.

The first morning of the New Year was a decidedly chilly one, and we started it by sitting around in our pyjamas and dressing gowns devouring scrambled eggs - a fine first breakfast of 2013.

-------

The rest of January can be summed up in the form of bulletpoints:

• I had my first ever rollerskating lesson - I've almost nailed crossovers
• I started a hardcore fitness regime in preparation for Fresh Meat training - it hurts
• Oh, and we had some snow - this is exciting, we don't often get snow in London

January so far has really been about one thing and one thing only: getting ready for the immense physical/emotional/mental journey that I am soon to be embarking upon: Roller Derby training.

Unfortunately, after suffering from severe chest pain and a somewhat terrifying inability to breathe properly, I was told yesterday by my nurse that I have bronchitis. Not just normal bronchitis, that would be too sensible, I have a hardcore long-standing infection deep down in my lungs, and another separate but less bad infection at the top of my lungs. I'm currently on the strongest dose of antibiotics I have ever been on (they make my mouth dry and the rest of my body all sleepy), but I am bloody well determined to fight these stupid infections and get back to training. In an odd way I never thought possible, I find I'm missing the gym.

-------

I trust the New Year so far has been satisfying for you all, and preferably bronchitis-free?

in my (roller-skating) dreams

My dream last night was awesome, and a little depressing at the same time...

I was in a super cool roller derby team, and we were proper good and feisty and everything, but then upon waking I realised that despite having had my beautiful skates for almost a year now, I haven't got them out more than a handful of times.

What with all sorts of weird stuff happening in my personal life last year, and then moving house and becoming a bit of a hermit over the last 6 months, I've just not been in the right frame of mind for attempting to re-ignite my long-forgotten rollerskating "skills". Perhaps I should walk about the house wearing them every now and then, just to get used to having them on.

In no time I imagine I'll get impatient and want to go outside in them, it's just finding somewhere secluded enough, and devoid of people... I wonder if my gym would allow me to skate around in the yoga room when it's not being used - it's got a smooth floor and mirrors, so it'll be the perfect place to check out how I'm doing. I mean, it's got huge windows along one side of it, but those gym girls have seen me in all kinds of bloody awful states so seeing me falling on my bum a couple of times is probably a vast improvement.

Roller Derby Skate Girl card by Cara of The Elfin Forest

Last year, a group of girls and I made such plans to form a roller derby troupe and all get skates and work hard to become good and join a league but nothing has come of it other than me buying (and failing to use) a pair of skates. Oh, the ambitions of youth! I guess since some of them were rather intoxicated at the time that might have had something to do with their compliance and forgetfulness... No matter, I've always been one to be independent and get on with whatever I want despite others' non-interest, so I can go ahead and train by myself, it'll be a good little personal challenge for the summer.

I used to be ace at it when I was younger: I would zoom around the park, zoom around the playground and then zoom all the way home again, with such complete confidence that nothing would faze me.

I long to be back at that point, and if skating is anything like riding a bike, surely it should come flooding back as soon as I try again, right???

Star Wars roller derby + pretty skates

It's all very well being "into" roller-derby, but in order to actually get into it, I thought maybe a little group of us should go and see a local team, the London Rockin' Rollers, to get a proper feel for it. Plus I had heard that their next event was to be Star Wars themed - and frankly, that was more than enough to get me there. Stormtroopers, Ewoks and roller derby? Yes please!

As well as cheers from those who are planning to join me in re-learning to skate, there were initial doubts from a feminist friend... Girls zooming around a track in skimpy outfits and overly sexualised nicknames? Not too sure about that!

Despite initial concerns, she and her boyfriend joined us in our roller derby adventure, and I'm pretty sure she enjoyed herself. And how can one not at a derby? It was super duper fun! We packed into York Hall in Bethnal Green, home of the London Rockin' Rollers, and took our seats on the balcony overlooking the track, so we could watch all the action from above.

The LRR All Stars were playing the Stuttgart Valley Roller Girlz who had come from Germany for the annual match, and who were promptly thrashed.

You can read Laura's opinion of the experience here, if you would like to.

Now that I've seen it live, I'm even more keen on trying it out. I realise that I'm going to have to get super strong and, more importantly, get back into skating. In order to do this I'd better get me some skates. Luckily, my birthday is coming up soon! Woooo!

What do you think of these pretties?

{disco skates} {white skates} {blue and yellow retro skates}

{red and blue retro skates} {purple skull skates} {blue and yellow skates}

I'm liking the purple skull ones. You?

rollin' with the punches

Perhaps I am a little late to this whole roller derby thing, but OMG now I know about it, I cannot get enough of it!

At a wedding the other week, some GFs and I were discussing the awesomeness that is derby. The more they drank, the more ridiculous our conversation became - we decided to have our own team (despite the fact that I was the only one who could skate), that our wonderful friend Tim would be our manager, and by the end of the night our uniforms had been decided: fluorescent pink legwarmers, hotpants with glittery silver paw prints on the bum cheeks, and all manner of other extravagances. Perhaps there ought to be an entire outfit post devoted to it.

I'm pretty sure Tim wanted a similar "uniform" to us girlies - plus a silver glittery skull codpiece. Yep, he's just that kind of chap...

...I'm thinking something like this, mounted on a silver chainmail codpiece:

{glittery skull by GlitterFuls}

And for the rest of us, some of these roller-inspired goodies, please...

{rollin' with the punches}

Have any of you seen/done roller derby?